I started my first business in college back in 2011 and one of my inspirations at the time was an entrepreneur that had just published a book called "Start Something that Matters" ... and this book was published that same year: 2011.
The book I was reading was about a business idea from a trip in Argentina in 2006. This man was struck by seeing the children everywhere walking barefoot ... exposed to injuries and infections.
When he made his way back home to the U.S., he started a shoe company with a revolutionary business model. For every pair of shoes sold, the company would donate a pair of shoes to children in need all over the world. This became a movement that inspired other businesses to follow suit and adopt this "1 for 1 model".
By 2013 the company had donated over 10 million shoes!
And in 2014, this extraordinary entrepreneur sold 50% of his company and in the process made a whopping $300 million dollars!
Now, you'd think any human that had such a mission driven business with that amount of money would be happy?
Well, he wasn't ... in fact, 2024 got so bad for this man that not only did he experience a numbing depression but also suicidal ideation.
Remember, his company wasn't just donating a pair of shoes for every pair sold ... They inspired an entire movement of other established businesses adopting this "1 for 1 model" as well!
So, who was this person anyway? Blake Mycoskie, founder of TOMS shoes.
This is what depression could look like:
I share this story because so many of us are operating from a "When I achieve ABC, I will feel XYZ" mindset. The danger of this is that it actually keeps us in a state that distracts us from underlying thoughts and feelings that are quietly negatively impacting our mental and emotional health.
What I hope you take from your time here, is how to build moment to moment awareness so that any compartmentalized feelings can come to the surface so that they won't build up to extreme cases of anxiety, depression, burn out or even suicidal ideation.
The Breakdown That Led To The Breakthrough.
When I was 31 years old, a year before the lockdowns of 2020, I went through an existential crisis. My mind felt like it was turning on me. It felt like I was losing my mind and I couldn't "get a grip". The sleepless nights and my own numbing depression made wearing "a mask" my automatic coping mechanism.
My business was thriving, I had just built a seven figure business and was even named as a Silicon Valley 40 under 40 recipient, yet inside I was dying (and I told no one).
That "mask" I was wearing was that of a happy go lucky kind of dude and I numbed myself with 3 things. Working, enjoying a unique IPA (nearly daily albeit usually just one), and an obsession with fantasy football.
Ultimately, I paid the price for neglecting the warning signs.
Programmed To Fail.
I wonder if you're like me, do you thrive in taking action?
You know the saying, "if you want something done, ask a busy person" ... I feel like that sums up Americans pretty well ... well, especially entrepreneurial minded-folks.
I used to thrive in doing, not that I don't now, I just have a different relationship with the balance between being and doing.
Before I got into NLP (neuro linguistic programming), I was operating on a subconscious autopilot behavior of ... DO > HAVE > BE.
Back in my Silicon Valley days, I used to hear all the time ... "Sam, how are you able to do so much?" I know now that it wasn't burnout that led to my breakdown in 2019, rather it was a disconnection from my inner world.
The Energies Of "Be" & "Do".
The inner world consists of our mental/emotional state, it's about our thoughts/feelings and connection to our intuition (and even something beyond this human experience - i.e. religion/spirituality). This energy of the "inner world" is that of "being".
Whereas the outer world has everything to do with how we move through the world with our five senses. Think of it as the obligations and responsibilities of our lives - this is the "doing" energy.
The problem with doing before being is that when we finally get to a state of stillness (being), we get restless, so we do once again.
Have you ever achieved a big goal in your life and soon thereafter you set another goal and it felt like you were like a hamster on a wheel never really getting anywhere at all?
This feeling of chasing (or pursuing) goals endlessly often is as a result of being disconnected from the inner world.
Instead of just doing the thing, to have the result, then getting restless in the being ... Try this instead ...
Be > Do > Have
The model NLP (neuro linguistic programming) teaches, which I very much align with, is "Be, Do, Have."
First, we access our inner world: This is about slowing down and transitioning from the outer world we experience with our 5 senses to really check-in on our mental and emotional state.
A few good ways to slow down can be a walk in nature, meditating, journaling, or my personal favorite: breathwork.
The point here is simple, slow down physically, to slow down mentally, and when you do what happens next is clarity comes through.
Second, now that we've accessed clarity and embraced the sometimes uncomfortable sensations that come with stillness, now we can take action. This is the doing.
Apply this to any scenario in your life: personal or professional goals or even how you approach your day. Begin with stillness when you wake up; before going straight to your phone or other responsibilities in the day.
Lastly, as a result of getting clear then taking action; now we have the result.
In the previous model I was operating on was that of do, have, be - this is where I would be uncomfortable in the "beingness" because I didn't have clarity before I began.
If you've ever noticed how you jump from one thing to the next, the solution is BE, DO, HAVE because on an unconscious level (meaning you're unaware of it), you're likely running on a piece of "programming" that is outdated and keeping you in a cycle of distraction. And when we distract ourselves, we numb ourselves from feeling which then ultimately at some point all of those buried "negative" thoughts & feelings will come to the surface and it will lead to an inevitable breakdown. So to avoid that overload, get ahead of it.
Getting Comfortable In The Discomfort.
Listen I get it, sometimes going out of our way to be uncomfortable doesn't make any sense. Like why would I, or anyone else for that matter, submit themselves to 35 degree water for 3 minutes? Or why would you ride your bike from Redwood City to Santa Cruz when you can drive? Here's another ... why would anyone go to a networking event to build their business despite being an introvert and having social anxiety?
All of these questions have the same answer ... pushing yourself past your edges often leads to growth.
I love neuroscience, and Dr. Andrew Huberman (professor of neuroscience at Stanford), has shared the profound scientific evidence behind the mindset of "doing hard things".
Huberman shares that there's a piece of the brain called the mid-anterior cingulate cortex which strengthens when we do hard things. And as a result of this, we actually become more resilient when we face challenges.
If you're truly committed to bettering yourself and others, then please understand whatever discomfort arises in your practice to slow down and "just be" actually means you are strengthening your ability to embrace challenges as they come up in your life. In other words, you're preparing yourself for if and when challenges in your life arise.
Remembering Your Childhood Joy.
I'm thrilled to report that Blake Mycoskie - founder of TOMS shoes, is doing so much better with his mental health. He's a shining voice in the field of mental health and there's a parallel I see between his progress and my own over the past 6 years ...
Play.
As adults, we forget about play ... but why; and when did life become so serious?
We loosen up when we're around kids, but when we're just with ourselves or other adults, oftentimes we're just so stiff.
Over the past several years, I've adopted a determination to have more play in my life through musical instruments, painting, even cooking, and especially finding more time to just be silly with friends without judgement.
Let It Be Simple.
One of the most profound messages I've received from accessing my own stillness was ... "it's all so simple ... and as humans we overcomplicate it ... and that's okay".
Just Be,
Sam
No AI was used in the writing of this blog, just 100% human expression.